Early on in my life as a planner I had a bride (who I loved!) named Jaq. Jaquita and I were sitting in my car after scoping out potential after party locations for her July wedding (Here’s looking at you Soul Sister) and our chat took an unexpected turn. I asked what being a bride meant to her, and if the experience surprised her at all. Being ever laid back, I expected her to talk only about the emotions between her and Carlton and was stunned to hear about her fears that her wedding was “not going to be enough”. Jaq is both a boss lady and cool cucumber who had been consistently eschewing wedding conventions throughout her planning process. I was surprised to learn that even she was succumbing to the pressures and high expectations of the industry.
Too many brides and grooms feel this way as wedding day approaches. They begin by wanting to focus on “what matters” and not get sucked into buying anything wasteful. They start with love, promising a life together, and that is enough.
But then something else takes hold.
After months down the Pinterest-hole and devouring bridal magazines, their union begins taking a backseat to their desire to create a visually stunning, perfectly curated, jealousy evoking event to impress their friends and family. They begin to covet weddings they could never afford, each detail MORE shiny and MORE over the top, albeit completely unnecessary. When a fiancé says "no" to more details, like monogrammed napkins (we are already WAY over budget) it's not uncommon for the other to transform into a petulant brat (we HAVE to! - You don't, it'll be fine).
More! More! More!
In today’s wedding industry more details, more favors, more décor, more EVERYTHING is the default setting when planning your big day. At BKco we are dedicated to battling the chaotic grasping for more by focusing closely on what’s at the heart of the couple’s intention.
We want our brides and grooms to have fun with their décor, but when it feels like a burden to them, we encourage them to ask why.
Here are some simple non-material mantras to keep you sane and centered when you need to battle MORE:
"I am planning a day that my whole community will enjoy"
Of course your wedding day is special for you and your spouse, but reminding yourself that it’s also a day on which your whole community of friends and family will get to enjoy celebrating YOU should make you feel awesome and excited. It’s a blessing to be able to gather your tribe and thinking of how you want your guests to feel should guide your planning.
"I will make deliberate choices"
We pride ourselves on being experts at honing in on specific and impactful elements of design and trimming the fat. Remembering which elements of your design are truly special to you will help you highlight them, leaving the clichés behind.
"At the end of the day, I will be married"
The ceremony is the cornerstone of your day. Focusing on your message of love to your spouse and presenting that message to your community will put things back in perspective.
Using these mantras and coming up with some of your own will give you the tools to pivot back to what’s essential when you find yourself going off course.